Monday, February 26, 2018

Sloan Zachary Harding 🖤

Things I never want to forget:

  • Day 5, in the middle of the night feeding Sloan, I held him and talked to him with a dim light in our living room which is something I usually don't do. I kept smiling, saying hi and how much I love him and he seemed to respond with smiles. He always smiled on cue and at us pretty early on. Even around 4 and 5 weeks, he was expressing happiness earlier than my other babies.
  • In the hospital, I took pain meds twice and I had an insurmountable amount of anxiety. It was so weird. When I stopped taking it, it made a huge difference, but in the pit of that I was able to talk myself out of it by telling myself I could overcome this since I have before. That was a milestone for me.
  • Recovery was minimal and quick compared to my others which I'm very grateful since I had two other babies to care for.
  • Zach was my cheerleader and huge supporter through this whole process.
  • How much Hudson and James love Sloan. They walked in the hospital so excited to meet their baby brother and couldn't sleep the rest of the night.
  • Sloan's snuggles and being such a mama's boy. 
  • Sloan's hair, just like mine when I was born. And those full cheeks.
  • His olive eyes. I thought all my kids would have dark brown eyes.
  • The great love in our home.
  • Knowing that Sloan had a sweet send-off from his great grandparents.
  • My determination to not have postpartum depression. Not sure if this is controllable, but I do know that thoughts play a big roll which can be hard to control in the pit of depression, however, I've worked really hard for my peace and happiness and felt good most of the pregnancy. I'm glad that I still have my happiness mixed in with some hard days/moments because, life. I'm just happy to be feeling happy.

Friday, February 23, 2018


38 weeks pregnant and I felt a little impatient and couldn't be more "ready." I had everything set at home (nested like a crazy) and was packed for his arrival. A couple days went by and those days were slow. I sat there struggling and kind of aloof from everything because I was just ready for baby to just get here and to start this next phase of life we had been preparing for. Also, I was over the wobbling and discomfort. I was a little dilated and effaced. Then January 16th came, I had a contraction here and there every few hours and into the night Zach and I were watching the last few episodes of White Collar, I ate some leftovers because I had a feeling I was going to go into labor. Around midnight the consistent contractions started. They started coming every 5 minutes and were getting a little stronger. 1 a.m. came and we were ready to do this thing. I called my mom and she quickly came to spend the night as she was anticipating this moment.

We headed to the hospital and my contractions remained consistent and stronger. My labor nurse walked in and I recognized her from college. Haha she was one of my roommates' cousins! Crazy and she was so good! I was glad I had her. Contractions continued and they let me stay. We were having this baby! My Dr came in an hour and half or so later and came to break my water. I already had the epidural going btw, but he and the nurse and not even kidding like two minutes later or less I had the STRONG urge to push. I held it in, yikes hahaha. I tried pushing the nurse button, but I think I pushed the wrong one but it was ok because a couple minuted later my nurse walked back in and I told her I had a really strong urge to push and she checked me and I was fully dilated and ready to go! Everyone came in, set up and I pushed when they told me to and baby was already coming so my Dr told me to slow and ease my pushing. He also said the baby had a full head of hair, but it didn't even phase me because I thought he would be like his brothers, but my Dr wasn't kidding! Baby Sloan Zachary Harding was born within 2 minutes! 7 lbs 1 oz (just like his oldest brother) and 19 inches of perfection and with the thickest hair just like I had when I was a baby.

It was a very special day and we were in heaven with our fresh new babe. His brothers were elated and SO excited to come meet him! It's one of my favorite things about this life. We had some visitors at the hospital and Sloan got to meet his cutest and only cousin who was just born 2 months before. All of us especially loved the cookies and unlimited soda from the hospital haha.

All in all, our family is so in love with Sloan and my heart is full.

Tuesday, January 30, 2018

Right before baby...

I love these family pictures we got from my good friend Megan Fisher Photography. I love how they show our true characters. It got to be freezing that day, but it was hard to figure out a day that worked for everyone before it got even colder, I got more pregnant, and when Zach would be back in town from his Ghana trip. But poor little James was freezing and I was stressing! Family pictures have me running around like a headless chicken! I was wobbling and it was hurting to walk at this point and Zach met us at location from work so I was on my own! Still, with Megan's skill she was able to capture so many good photos despite the chaos!! These made for one of my favorite Christmas cards!

Which I also wanted to mention that this made for one of the best Christmases to date. I'm writing it in my journal as well because it was so good. Being pretty pregnant and my body feeling kind of weak, I knew I would mostly be online shopping for everything. It all worked out and we were prepared earlier than we usually are. I also came across a story of Sister Hinckley who was with a group of women kind of stressing and complaining about Christmas to-do's and she chimed in without judgment, but mentioned how she loves to focus on the Savior and loved giving gifts to her friends and loved ones. I loved that and decided to take on the same attitude. I think that made for my favorite Christmas season yet, I focused on Christ and everyone else. Watching Hudson and James enjoy the Christmas magic is magical itself, but it added on to the attitude I tried to take on.

Next up, pictures with baby!!!